We all have Chatter in our minds; thoughts that come in to our head without us consciously choosing them. Some of the thoughts are from the past and some from the present.
I’m talking about the judgments we have about ourselves or what others have said. Some of those thoughts are negative and others are positive.
Take a minute and think of a negative thought you still hold on to from childhood. Can you still see it in your mind? Does it sometimes creep into your thoughts at times without you wanting it to?
Now, counter the negative thought. Let a thought of a wonderful experience you had as a child enter your mind; one that you still reflect on positively. The feelings associated with the positive thought are completely different.
Negative Chatter does not have to travel through our minds for our entire lifetime. We can change it, we have the power to change the negative chatter.
Working with girls in my Chatter Girls Program I hear many of the girls talk about negative thoughts controlling their lives; from being bullied, to other negative experiences at home and school.
Negative thoughts (Chatter) can be controlled, changed and transformed.
Below are 3 ways to help your child Change the Chatter.
1. Start the day with a positive affirmation, have her write one on her bathroom mirror, or a prominent place in her room or she can use an affirmation app on her smart phone. In my book I provide 30 affirmations to start the process to empower your daughter.
2. Talk with her about a positive outcome for something she might be dealing with today; such as a test or a performance at school, or her interactions with friends at a sleepover. Be aware of your child’s expectations. She might be expecting too much from herself. Help her focus on the positive of situations. Don’t completely ignore the negative, but highlight the positive. All situations can have something positive about it.
3. Checking in with your daughter after an event immediately afterwards is important. Provide support and encouragement. Also check in with her about it a week or so after an event. Make sure they aren’t holding on to negative thoughts in their mind. Provide support and encouragement. Help her focus on the positive. This focus on your daughter’s strengths will empower her and help her change the chatter.